This is a thread dedicated to remembering and sweating legendary DataGolf member @Obgeoff.
Flush with cash after C H III’s historic LIV win in Mayakoba, Obgeoff is filled with confidence. Similar to a leopard in the savannah he waits patiently for the next antelope Bet365 sends his way.
The Puerto Rico open odds are released on DataGolf and its a sea of green.
The time has come, like a battle hardened marine sniper, he fires. Targets enter the frame. Saavedra-Davila, Nido, Campbell, Potter Jr, Carr, Gainey. Its like shooting fish in a barrel. He remembers Tigers putt on the 18th at the 2008 US Open to get into a playoff with Rocco Mediate, ‘Stay calm Obgeoff and commit to the shot’. This is it. Bang, bang, bang, he fires more. Each click of the mouse button and tap of the keyboard more precise than the last.
Obgeoff breathes a calm relaxed breath and collects himself. He glances over at his ammunition stockpile, only to see he has used almost all of it. 91% of the bankroll has been bet. Its his biggest betting week yet, he sits back and sips his SanRemo jet-black espresso. He is content with his decisions.
Meanwhile in the Bet365 office, CEO Denise Coates finishes her last line of cocaine. “Great lunch guys! Lets do it again soon”. The executive team leave her office, cheering.
Suddenly the new intern bursts into her office. ‘Denise, we have a problem’
‘WTF could this be about, we are B365, the house always wins baby!’ -she blurts out in less than a second.
‘Its about the Puerto Rico Open, the risk management algorithm is taking a mental health day after Charles Howell actually won something’
Denise begins to feel a lump in her throat grow.
‘We got the new guy Kevin to make the odds for this tournament after all our best data analysis people left to Tik-Tok’
‘Kevin? The head of sanitation?’
‘Thats right Denise, we promoted him after he cleaned up that bender we went on last week, he still believes its 2008 and Tommy Gainey is good, he’s 50% to make cut’
At this point Denise’s head starts to spin, she feels off balance, this cant happen again she thought. That damn risk management algorithm. ‘Well surely no one took that much action, I mean Gainey is a hammer lock right? We are the house and we always win!’ Her battle cry is unconvincing.
‘Denise, Obgeoff bet his entire bankroll’
Denise collapses onto the floor, she chokes out one last sentence before she falls into a coma. ‘My god what have we done…BAN, THEM, ALL’
The intern runs out of the office and dives into the excel spreadsheet they use for modelling golf. ‘Remove anyone under 2.25 on the Miss Cut market! NOW!’
Kevin looks around and closes Territorial.IO, slowly he brings up the spreadsheet, its his 2nd time using a computer but he’s getting the hang of it, he thinks. The intern watches on in impatient horror, should have stuck to digital marketing, she thinks to herself.
Kevin highlights the cells he needs to delete, but not before one last bet comes in from Obgeoff.
‘Kevin Stadler to Miss Cut @2’s?’, Obgeoff quietly murmurs to himself… A mix of confusion and excitement fill his whisper.
He checks his KC Calculator and his eyes widen, he cant believe what he sees - 4/5 of the Bankroll on a single bet. With his last 9%, he fires.
The intern turns to Kevin, ‘Kevin… ban them all’.
RIP to Obgeoff’s and maybe others Bet365 accounts - Wish him all the best luck this week in Puerto Rico, hopefully his account grows by many units! We remember!